The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
