Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
