1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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