So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
