his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
