dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
