I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
