Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
