nut hugger
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
