sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
