But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
