she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
