Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
