What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
