i think i have two assholes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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