You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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