I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
