I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
