We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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