a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i think my cat just said my name.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
