Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
