I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
