You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
