You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
