I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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