I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
