If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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