dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
