apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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