I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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