I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
