i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
