i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
