walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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