guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
