Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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