On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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