So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
