I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
