Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
