I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
