You work out of a Hotel?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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