You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
