I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
