His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
