Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
