I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
