This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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