Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
