I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
