Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Randomize
